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Messages - Lone Jobber

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Roleplays / Oh was I supposed to say something - woops ~~ Lone Jobber

« on: December 10, 2020, 06:34:53 AM »

We're taken to the backstage area with our hosts Ned Tesseract and Jay Jixhel. The duo seem to be getting impassionat, looking around constantly, checking the time on their phones. The men take a collective sigh of relief when they see the one and only Lone Jobber turn a corner and approach them.

Ned: Damn Jobber, I know you like to cut it close, but this might be too much for the new management.

Jobber: As some very close peeps of mine would say “meh”.

Jay:How've you been doing Jobs?

Jobber: Oh, I've been good. Thanksgiving was quiet and all that. Just a nice relaxing time. It was good.

Jay: Okay... but you know that some people were waiting to see you right?

Jobber: And they all can for the upcoming Lone Jobber celebrates the holidays, which you can find at Twitter dot com slash Lone Jobber. We're thinking we've got the time to hopefully put our some fun segments this year, starting with Hannukah.

Ned: Alright, now that we've got your pimping your shit out for the holidays, the fans wanted your response to the challenge laid you before you for Season's Beatings...

Jobber: Ahh Seasons Beatings. One of my favorite events, I just can't get enough of the age old favorite, the Holiday Bowl.

Ned: Yes...

Jay: He's dancing around it.

Jobber: Hmm?

Ned: You were challenged. By Charlotte. We all have been waiting for your response.

Jobber: Right, right. How charged is the battery on that guy, you know how I am.

Ned: Oh, we expected a long rambling session, so when you're ready. What do you have to say to Ms Flair?

Jobber: Charlotte wanted to face the last ever EWA Women's Champion, which, was me. To Cee and I, one on one at Season's Beatings ---clears throat--- no.

…

Ned and Jay exchange glances in the hanging silence.

Ned: What do you mean with just “no”.

Jobber: Nah. I'm flattered you want to work with the best, but pass.

Jay: That's... not what people were expecting.

Jobber: You thought I'd spend hours ripping into her, talking all about how she's finally going to get into the ring with a true great, a man who actually earned his 16 plus world title reigns... and about how I was going to teach her a lesson?

Jay: Pretty much.

Jobber: Nah.

Jay: But she challenged you.

Jobber: And I passed. See that's the thing, this match, it's not for me. You know me, I'm a two time women's champion in this company. But frankly, I always thought those sort of matches sucked. No offense to Charlotte or Tessa or any of the other ladies who are making a name for themselves with those sort of matches, but intergender matches like that are, in my view, trash.

Ned: Trash.

Jobber: Yeah, they are garbage, low rent matches.

Ned: You just said you're a two time woman's champion. Seems...

Jobber: Hypocritical of me, yeah, maybe kinda. But that's the thing, that trash happened nearly a decade ago. And to be frank, if you go back and watch any of those, it was mostly just me ducking and dodging attacks. I hated being put into that position, and these days, guess what, it's easier now than ever to say, nah. I'm good.

Ned: But there is a match signed. Charlotte is going to be expecting to face someone.

Jobber: And... if she does, I've got someone in mind. So my dear Charlotte, I must break your heart, no, no I won't be taking part in your trash wrestling match, but.. but if you want, there is a young lady Team Jobber has been working with these past few whatevers. True, she's not a mega star like myself, but I'm sure she's more than up for the challenge. So Ms. Charlotte, self proclaimed Queen, let me introduce you to my newest protege, the Queen of Crazy herself....

Ned and Jay turn to were Jobber motions and sees the young lady that Jobber mentioned. She does a little finger wave before Jobber leaves Ned and Jay to themselves.

Ned: She seems...

Jay: Familiar?

Ned: Yeah. And it's not just the whole teal and purple on black...

Jay: Jobber did say she was part of Team Jobber.

Ned: We're not losing our spot are we?

Jay: We're legends, of course not. Not to some... newbie.

Ned: Yeah but still.... I feel like I've seen her before.

Jay: Tall, pale, redheads.. I mean... oh...

Ned: You don't think?

Jay: I mean, I dunno.

And as we look upon the confused and worried faces of Ned and Jay, we fade away.

Roleplays / I Mean You Had To Know --- Jobber

« on: October 01, 2020, 02:59:12 AM »

Well, well, well, would you look at that. I know, I get it, you all thought things would change, that life would be different, and yet here I am standing before you. Does it feel... right? It does doesn't it? Honestly with it only being moments before this thing kicks off again, now it's starting to feel real once again. For me, for the Lone Jobber, I've been sitting back thinking "this ain't real, this can't be, just a dream I've found myself in during this real life nightmare" and yet, as I sit back here grabbing my wrist tape, as I hear the rumble of the people vibrate through the walls, as I catch the eyes of all the men and women I've known for years, and now, now there is a camera stuck in front of my face telling me I've only got moments until Glory 2020... as a man once used to say, now it's real, damn real.

What exactly do I have planned to do tonight? React. Honestly at this point it's all I really can do isn't it? Paulie's been holding his cards awfully close to his chest, and you have to know that the Jobber reached out, I tried to use my contacts, and yet nothing. So I sit back here just taking it all in. Who knows what is in store for us all, but the one thing I want each and every one of you to know, is that the Jobber will always be here for you. No matter how much things will change.... no matter how messy life gets... it's my j- my honor to captivate you. To make you stand in awe. To make you question your own sanity cause clearly I lost mine decades ago.

Tonight, September 30th, it's Glory 2020. and you know what, you want to know the real truth... now it feels like Glory. Does that make me egotistical? Me? Oh no no no, never me having an ego. That's silly talk. Heh, as I've been sitting here before you I've noticed them, the others walking through, everyone running around making sure they were ready, their attitudes have began to change. They've been poking their heads in and seeing.... this. Hi guys. We've got a show to put on. But I've noticed that the atmosphere has began to change. There are smiles, sighs of relief. You're welcome Paulie, me merely rattling off like this, has put the staff back into their old state of mind, they're back to it. And the crowd, I can hear them more, I can feel the rumble that much more clearly. They are waking up. The idea that we're all in this crazy shared dream is slipping away and going, yes, yes this IS Glory. We ARE at an EWA event. We are back baby. And to all of you who think you're just going to swagger into the big time, Paul said he's got six different obstacles for all of us to overcoming.... for each of you, there is a seventh... and it's name... is thee Lone Jobber.... Jobber.

How much time I got left, only just enough, alright so lets get this done right... Extreme Wrestling Alliance.... Glory... whomever steps up understand that YOU... will Job.... to the Jobber.

The Chatter Box / About Garak

« on: September 30, 2020, 08:53:22 AM »

OOC:

For this wondering, Garak (the Great as he calls himself) is a newer character. Really hoping (though not caring too much) that it doesn't bother anyone that I basically used the story from "EWA Post-EWA" I was writing before. I always kept writing more and more story for when the fed died, and it got to the point where I needed someone new, and Garak was one such guy. You can read the story bits over at http://www.ewawiki.com/index.php/Jobbers_EWA .

The original story was written a couple years back (I wanted a multi-year long story) however coming back to it later I also felt the company needed a character like Garak. So I made him and started the retcon the EWA Post-EWA series to include him.

So who is he? Well as he said, he's a guy who grew up watching the EWA. He's a more modern Psyko Boy/Lone Jobber. Where as PYB and LJ grew up watching and idolizing Shawn Michaels, NWO, DX and such, Garak was watching us. He was there at the arena for MayHem 2008 taking it all in. He is the result of all of us. He wanted to stylize himself after his heroes, PYB/LJ, but much like them quickly soured on his old idols. I realize following the "EWA Post-EWA" story does use your characters, but honestly I was like "fuck it, it's a story I've been working on forever when everyone stopped caring, he's a fun character". There is a the skeleton of the story I'd like to continue, just help write around it.

So lets see here. He's a heel. About 6 foot tall, 215. He's not too much unlike your mental image of a vanilla indie midget. He's very much that. At this point he's 27 years old (having started at Glory 18 at 25, which is really not that young for this company, seriously, we all sucked at properly aging our characters - I mean how many characters started out around 21-22 and were the biggest thing ever?). Light brown hair, shoulder length. Boots, tights, elbow pads, blah blah blah. Moveset is your average indie/AEW/NXT guy sort of thing just with an EWA twist. Because he was an EWA geek he's a bit of a historian so he's had a lifetime studying each one of our characters. Hell, one idea is that he might have been in an eFed much like real life we were where he might have been one of us.

Honestly one of the reasons I really wanted a character like him is to help make the company fleshed out. It needed to have an impact on the world around it otherwise it only exists in this weird bubble zone where we pull names from real life companies, the indies, and our various created characters, but none of them previously gave a damn about the EWA. Stewie, Ace, Vertigo, Omega, Jeremy Johnson, the Bennits, Subway, Dante, Phantom (blah blah blah you get the idea) none of them really knew about the company before, they knew WCW/WWE/ECW/ROH/TNA/NWA, and in that way we stayed way too small for how we presented ourselves. When someone new came in they should know about the great rivalries and super events. He helped fix that stumbling block in my mind when i was writing the story. No longer was I just limited to the guys we used to have (can't keep going back to the well), no longer was I limited to guys I see on TV (again, they're newer for the company but not real fresh blood for a universe) nor the minor enhancement talent I've made on video games over the years (better, but they were really just enhancement talent or fun characters I liked personally and none really would transition well over). He was just fun guy, plus a ready made story (and yes the parallels to the PYB coming of age/midsummer nightmare are totally intended) which makes the company feel more.

And for what it's worth, yeah that's his theme I ended the promo with. "For the Glory" by All Good Things. I had it playing on Pandora in the background and the moment it said "it's a blowout" I'd already gone "yup, I don't care what this is, it's Garaks". The Glory part I didn't know until I tabbed over to it.

I mean since I doubt it'll go beyond us at this point (that'd be cool if it did, but.. you know) we should have people like Velveteen Dream (1995) Jungle Boy (1997) Tegan Nox (1994) Adam Page (1991) Peyton Royce (1992) MJF (1996) think of wrestling as including the EWA instead of reality. Our multi-decades long history should have an impact on the up and coming crop much like real companies had on our characters.

Since I guess I should, Finisher is the Greatest Tiger Driver (kneeling tiger driver 98) with signature move being That Overused Kick (superkick, I mean Rock is there a better name?).

If you have questions, just ask.

Roleplays / Oh Look the Has Beens Are Coming Back - Garak the Great

« on: September 30, 2020, 08:05:41 AM »

You hear that? The silence, after months and months, is finally being broken. “The Extreme Wrestling Alliance” they say, “is coming back. I wonder just how many of my favorites are returning.” We've all hear the rumblings. For weeks I've sat bad just hearing punks trying to name drop the old guard. I've heard so many things, so many from era's long ago but the one name they feared to think... was Garak the Great. So many people thought I'd be a one pump chump like so many of their heroes actually were. You all hoped that if this company ever returned to the airwaves it'd be sans The Greatness? Fuck no.

But, oh no, there are those out there looking at their screens going “who the fuck is that kid”? So it seems, once again, I must... I have to reintroduce myself to each one of you returning “stars” because I know that none of you give a damn about this company in reality. As each one of you walk back into the locker-room you'll give your old broken ass friends the nod. You'll separate back off into those old cliques you've been having for decades. The only EWA you know or even give a damn about is the time you used to be up on the marquee.

News flash for each and everyone of you losers returning, this company continues on even when you've peaced out. You might have dropped your flag and fucked off back in 2017, but some of us give a damn. And me.. I'm one such man. The man who makes this extreme world rock. The name is Garak. The game is winning. And the fame... is all mine.

I'm the man who two years ago first came to this company, wide eyed and amazed I'd finally made it. You were all my heroes, and you know what they say about meeting them... I grew up glued to my tv watching all your stories unfold, I had my EWA wrestle pals beating up all my little teddy bears, I played the yearly games -even the ones that were little more than roster updates-, and spent so much time imagining what life would be like if I just had one chance, one opportunity to just show you what I could do. Because I grew up with you my entire life.

And then the day came, the day that I finally got my wish to meet each of you... and on that day... the me that thought so highly of my heroes.... died. I realized quickly how full of shit each and everyone of you are. What a coming of age story it really is. See I was really hoping I'd be the man who'd get a chance to just hang out with the boys I always wrote about online, instead it became my task with burning away the festering rot lingering around this company that you all have become.

A year and a half ago, I watched as one egotistical fuck put his foot on this chest, and slammed me down through the Extreme Bowl tower. I laid there, writhing in pain as all those heroes from my youth battled above me, and then one idiot jumped the fuck off the cage to grab the title. Thankfully for me, that moron damn near offed himself leading for me to do what I do best.

Destroy you old ass bitches. And I did a very good job at it. I'm the man who everyone wrote off, and I used that to my advantage. I looked at all your returning assholes and said then as I say now, “no – fuck you”. This wasn't then, and isn't now just some good old feel good movement, get all the boys back together and lets have some fun. No, fuck you all for thinking that. I'm the man who went through you “legends” and put you all in your places. I'm the man who gave Big Daddy Ace his 7th and most recent retirement package, my knee into his face. I'm the man who sent PYB back to Japan empty handed at Blowout. I'm the man who showed that bitch Lone Jobber who the real World Champion was exactly one year ago. I'm the man who....

I'm the man who is saving this company. So when I heard that all you out there were getting restless, that all of you were starting to feel that itch for super stardom once ago, nah bitch. See I'm doing the thing no one else here wants to, cleansing it of all it's filth. This isn't a happy go lucky retirement home for you lot to come back to whenever you start getting bored signing autographs at Starrcast.

So welcome back you broken ass has been part timers looking for a hand out. I get it, you all wish to live in the past, thinking nothing but about those Glory Day's where you were the hot shot big dick hero. But this isn't fucking 1999. This isn't your yard anymore. And if I've got to do yet another round of spring cleaning and break a few more of you pieces of shit, then so fucking be it. I was sick of you then, I'm sick of you now. So come on, welcome to EWA 2020, welcome to the New Era of Extreme. I dare you to the step into the ring... with Greatness.

Roleplays / Did Someone Say "Glory"? ~ Lone Jobber

« on: September 30, 2020, 07:23:23 AM »

~Behind The Scenes~
It's dawn as Lone Jobber stands there on rocky shoreline just gazing at a river. The sound of cars, opening and closing doors, snaps him out of it and he turns as none other than Ned Tesseract and Jay Jixhel make their way over to him. He gets up and, after dusting himself off, goes off to meet them. They fist bump.

Jobber: Been a while guys.

Ned: Just a bit. How've ya'll been?

Jay: (sighs) Bored? Eh, life's fine I guess. You guys?

Ned: Fine now. We had a bit of a scare with The Major a little bit back, but it's all good. Everyone healthy. You Jobs?

Jobber: Yeah we've been good. Mostly staying inside doing all that remote stuff, but yeah been we've good. Just been looking forward to working again.

Ned: So what are you thinking here, how you want to stage the promo?

Jobber: At one point I was thinking “guess what's back, back again, the Alliance is back, let us begin”.

Ned: You ain't the real Slim Shady dawg.

Jobber: I know, but damn, it's been a minute or two now hasn't it?

Jay: you're going to just end up riffing aren't you?

Ned: Uhg, I'm not sure my battery is that full...

Jobber: You didn't charge your bat....

Ned: No, they're at 100% but sometimes you tend to ramble.

Jobber: Heh, sometimes.

Jay: More than sometimes.

Jobber: Alright, okay, lets see here... Q&A?

Jay: You wanna take it Ned?

Ned: Yeah sure, let me just straighten my shit out, got to look like a pro.

Jobber: I'll stand off screen, you intro me, and we go from there, good?

Jay: Alright guys... stand over there just a bit, Sun's messing with framing ... ah... yeah perfect. Alright, lets just wait until we connect.... lordy this tech gets s.... okay guys... in three... two...

~Promo~
Ned Tesseract stands there alone with the Sun low on the horizon.

Ned: Ladies and Gentlemen, Extreme Wrestling Alliance faithful, my name is Ned Tesseract, and allow me to introduce you to the one and only.... Lone.... Jobber!

He swaggers onto the screen.

LJ: Jobber! Thank you for that Ned.

Ned: Of course. Lone Jobber, you know what time it is...

Jobber: Late September, my time, my time of year to really shine.

Ned: Well I guess we should first start at the beginning...

LJ: A good place to start.

Ned: After a “few” months of being away, the company is ready to come back, and I'm sure you've heard what Paul Heyman, Executive Director of the Extreme Wrestling Alliance, has had to say.

LJ: Of course I have. I won't lie, when his voice still rang within my ears I peaked up. He started talking my language, and honestly I felt like it was something I could truly get behind. I mean, how could I not. We're talking about restarting this company, we're talking about getting going once more. The call was sent out, the EWA is alive, and who else would answer that call besides thee Lone Jobber, Mister EWA.

Ned: Speaking about people responding, anyone you're hoping for?

LJ: I just want people who will care Ned. I want people to really bring it, and what a bigger, more important event to bring it at than Glory. I've been with this company for just once twenty years now, I've seen some stars come and go, and I've enjoy battling with the majority of them....

Ned: Not all?

LJ: Honestly? There was a couple who clashed with me and as much as we tried, it never worked out. But you know, I'm really looking forward to this new upcoming time.

Ned: We were told recently that things would change....

LJ: As the old song goes, time marches on. This company, coming back, can't keep doing the same thing it used to, can't. But I'm excited to really go out and do something amazing for each and every one of our fans who have been waiting all these months for us to be active again. If this means things will have to be different, I'll adapt. Teaching this old dog new tricks and all that. I'm really just ready to go and do it all.

Ned: Paul Heyman, earlier, said something about this companies history putting six people into a match. Any ideas?

LJ: You're really asking me... ME if I've got some ideas about the history that Heyman is talking about. Oh come on homie. I really look forward to it.... I mean if it's the one I'm thinking of, considering who Heyman is and his history.... what can I say? There are things that even I still want to do in this company.

Ned: You're being cryptic.

LJ: No shit.

Ned: You've got no idea do you?

LJ: I... I want to think he's going one direction, and if he is, he's an asshole.

Ned: Why?

LJ: If it's the match I think... I hope it is... we had about eight or nine of them. I would have been in... um.. six of them. Walked in as champion in, I want to say twice, and have never, eh-eh-ever walked out the victor. If this is where he's going.... you can say I'll be motivated to finally grasp that brass ring.

Ned: And if it's not whatever you think it is?

LJ: Well then just like the final season of Game of Thrones, I'll have hyped myself up too much, but fuck it, I'll do my best regardless.

Ned: You... you do remember that not only has Paul not announced what the match is, but even who would be in it? You might not.

LJ: I'm Lone Jobber.

Ned: yes, I said that in the intro.

LJ: Mister EWA.

Ned: Are you going to run off your nicknames?

LJ: Not putting me in something, come on now Ned. Paulie knows how to hype a crowd, and who wouldn't hype a big time match like this face? Come on now. Sure he and I haven't always been cool, but he's a business man, and I'm good for the business, man.

Ned: That was painful.

LJ: You know Ned, not only does tonight mark a night of Glory, but one might also say it's.... (looks off a bit) the dawning of a new day. My name is Lone Jobber, and soon, once again, you'll all remember what it's like to job... to the Jobber.

~END FEED~

~BTS~

Ned: Oh fuck, I... really? This entire promo for that one line?

LJ: Pretty much.

Ned: And the river?

LJ: Oh it just relaxes me. Plus I liked the ambiance of the waves crashing below. So, whose hungry? The fam wouldn't mind seeing ya'll again.

Ned: Yeah, sure.

Jay: Just let me finish up here and I'll be there. See ya soon.

The Chatter Box / Re: What If: A Creative Proposition

« on: September 22, 2020, 04:55:04 PM »

Really Rock, really? That line?

Anyhow, I will say, I enjoy the title of this subforum. Class act as usual.