You hear that? The silence, after months and months, is finally being broken. “The Extreme Wrestling Alliance” they say, “is coming back. I wonder just how many of my favorites are returning.” We've all hear the rumblings. For weeks I've sat bad just hearing punks trying to name drop the old guard. I've heard so many things, so many from era's long ago but the one name they feared to think... was Garak the Great. So many people thought I'd be a one pump chump like so many of their heroes actually were. You all hoped that if this company ever returned to the airwaves it'd be sans The Greatness? Fuck no.
But, oh no, there are those out there looking at their screens going “who the fuck is that kid”? So it seems, once again, I must... I have to reintroduce myself to each one of you returning “stars” because I know that none of you give a damn about this company in reality. As each one of you walk back into the locker-room you'll give your old broken ass friends the nod. You'll separate back off into those old cliques you've been having for decades. The only EWA you know or even give a damn about is the time you used to be up on the marquee.
News flash for each and everyone of you losers returning, this company continues on even when you've peaced out. You might have dropped your flag and fucked off back in 2017, but some of us give a damn. And me.. I'm one such man. The man who makes this extreme world rock. The name is Garak. The game is winning. And the fame... is all mine.
I'm the man who two years ago first came to this company, wide eyed and amazed I'd finally made it. You were all my heroes, and you know what they say about meeting them... I grew up glued to my tv watching all your stories unfold, I had my EWA wrestle pals beating up all my little teddy bears, I played the yearly games -even the ones that were little more than roster updates-, and spent so much time imagining what life would be like if I just had one chance, one opportunity to just show you what I could do. Because I grew up with you my entire life.
And then the day came, the day that I finally got my wish to meet each of you... and on that day... the me that thought so highly of my heroes.... died. I realized quickly how full of shit each and everyone of you are. What a coming of age story it really is. See I was really hoping I'd be the man who'd get a chance to just hang out with the boys I always wrote about online, instead it became my task with burning away the festering rot lingering around this company that you all have become.
A year and a half ago, I watched as one egotistical fuck put his foot on this chest, and slammed me down through the Extreme Bowl tower. I laid there, writhing in pain as all those heroes from my youth battled above me, and then one idiot jumped the fuck off the cage to grab the title. Thankfully for me, that moron damn near offed himself leading for me to do what I do best.
Destroy you old ass bitches. And I did a very good job at it. I'm the man who everyone wrote off, and I used that to my advantage. I looked at all your returning assholes and said then as I say now, “no – fuck you”. This wasn't then, and isn't now just some good old feel good movement, get all the boys back together and lets have some fun. No, fuck you all for thinking that. I'm the man who went through you “legends” and put you all in your places. I'm the man who gave Big Daddy Ace his 7th and most recent retirement package, my knee into his face. I'm the man who sent PYB back to Japan empty handed at Blowout. I'm the man who showed that bitch Lone Jobber who the real World Champion was exactly one year ago. I'm the man who....
I'm the man who is saving this company. So when I heard that all you out there were getting restless, that all of you were starting to feel that itch for super stardom once ago, nah bitch. See I'm doing the thing no one else here wants to, cleansing it of all it's filth. This isn't a happy go lucky retirement home for you lot to come back to whenever you start getting bored signing autographs at Starrcast.
So welcome back you broken ass has been part timers looking for a hand out. I get it, you all wish to live in the past, thinking nothing but about those Glory Day's where you were the hot shot big dick hero. But this isn't fucking 1999. This isn't your yard anymore. And if I've got to do yet another round of spring cleaning and break a few more of you pieces of shit, then so fucking be it. I was sick of you then, I'm sick of you now. So come on, welcome to EWA 2020, welcome to the New Era of Extreme. I dare you to the step into the ring... with Greatness.
Topic: Oh Look the Has Beens Are Coming Back - Garak the Great (Read 2257 times)